Football Funny Quotes Laugh Your Way Through the Game with 100+These Football Quotes

Here are some of the football funny quotes to make everyone who watches grin. Football represents far more than a game; it is a dedication, an element of life, and an endless supply of satisfaction. Football is an abundance with lighthearted experiences, from the activities of the players on the playing field to the ridiculous statements made by analysts.

Table of Contents

Quotes about the Love for Football

“Football is the ballet of the masses.” – Dmitri Shostakovich

“Football is like life, it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and respect for authority.” – Vince Lombardi

Quotes about the Funny Side of Football Players

“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” – George Best

“I am the Boss at Manchester United.” – Eric Cantona

Quotes about the Quirky Moments in Football Matches

“I couldn’t see myself playing in a league where teams get points for losing.” – David Beckham

“Sometimes in football, you have to score goals.” – Thierry Henry

You can also check out our lawyer funny quotes and share them with your loved ones.

100+ Football Funny Quotes

Quotes about the Passion of Football Fans

“Football is not just a game, it’s a religion.” – Unknown

“I am a football romantic.” – Jurgen Klopp

Quotes about the Humor in Football Commentaries

“He’s got a great future behind him.” – Brian Clough

“He’s got his feet on the ground and he’s not afraid to put his head in the clouds.” – Harry Redknapp

Quotes about the Excitement of Watching Football

“It’s like a toaster, the ref’s shirt pocket. Every time there’s a tackle, up pops a yellow card.” – Richard Scudamore

“Football is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the fewest mistakes wins.” – Johan Cruyff

Quotes about the Hilarious Mistakes in Football

“Sometimes you just have to hold your hands up and say, ‘I’m sorry, but I’m just not good enough.’ And that’s what I do.” – Paul Gascoigne

“Football is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the fewest mistakes wins.” – Johan Cruyff

Quotes about the Funny Nicknames in Football

“I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” – Mark Draper

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Joe Theismann

Quotes about the Joy of Scoring Goals

“I’ve never scored a goal in my life without getting a pass from someone else.” – Abby Wambach

“I feel like all my life I’ve been looking for a left-footed David Beckham.” – Ian Holloway

Quotes about the Crazy Celebrations in Football

“I can’t believe I’m standing here next to Pele. I’ve just taken the piss out of him and now he’s won the World Cup.” – David Beckham

“I was running through treacle and felt like I was in a washing machine full of bricks.” – Neil Harris

Quotes about the Funny Traditions in Football Clubs

“Playing football is very simple, but playing simple football is the hardest thing there is.” – Johan Cruyff

“I’m not going to look beyond the semi-final, but I would love to lead Ipswich out at the final.” – David Sheepshanks

Quotes about the Bizarre Refereeing Decisions

“We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percent that cost us.” – Ruud Gullit

“Anyone who can do the Cruyff turn has got it. I did it in ’82 and I’ve done it again.” – Robbie Savage

Quotes about the Funniest Football Memes

“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.” – Mark Viduka

“I’d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.” – Johnny Giles

Football is like life: full of goals and some penalties too!
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
Football players don’t need to be good at math, they just need to know the score!
What do footballers wear in the winter? Cold shorts!
I asked the footballer if he could do a header. He replied, “Sure, I’ll bring some paper!”
Why was the football pitch always so wet? Because the players kept dribbling!
Why do footballers do well in school? Because they know how to use their heads!
Footballers are always in good shape. Round is a shape, right?
Why was the football pitch always so noisy? Because the players kept shouting, “Give me a ball!”
What do you call a footballer who never misses a penalty? A goal machine!
Football is a game of inches, but most players only use their feet!
What do you call a goalkeeper who can’t stop sneezing? A tissue box!
Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
Footballers always win arguments. They know how to tackle the issues!
Why do footballers make terrible librarians? Because they always misplace their books!
Why did the football team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good loafing around!
I asked the footballer if he could play any other sports. He said, “I’m really good at kicking things!”
Footballers are like plants. They always need a little bit of extra thyme!
Why was the football team always so tired? Because they kept running out of time!
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
Footballers are good at math. They know how to use their heads!
Why do footballers make terrible doctors? Because they always foul up!
What do footballers wear in the winter? Cold shorts!
Why was the football team always so hot? Because they had so many fans!
Footballers are like cars. They always need a little bit of extra thyme!
Why did the football team go to the bakery? Because they kneaded the dough!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who never misses a penalty? A goal machine!
Footballers are good at math. They know how to use their heads!
Why was the football team always so tired? Because they kept running out of time!
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
Footballers are like plants. They always need a little bit of extra thyme!
Why do footballers make terrible doctors? Because they always foul up!
What do footballers wear in the winter? Cold shorts!
Why was the football team always so hot? Because they had so many fans!
Footballers are like cars. They always need a little bit of extra thyme!
Why did the football team go to the bakery? Because they kneaded the dough!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
Why did the football team go to the bakery? Because they kneaded the dough!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!
What do you call a footballer who’s always in the way? Offside!
Why was the football pitch always so slippery? Because the players kept sliding tackles!
Why do footballers make terrible chefs? Because they always foul up!